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Gina Barreca: Longing for Connection, Feeling Alone

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People really do mean well, but since we’ve created a culture built around achievement, significance and endurance, we’re not good with loss. We don’t know what to say or what to do when faced with emotional wounds. If we can’t bandage it up, medicate it, meditate with it or change its diet, we leave it alone.

And when I say alone, I mean alone.

It was 1973, and I was 16 when my mother died. It was about five weeks later that the casseroles and calls stopped coming. You’d think I wouldn’t feel it any more, after 45 years. But you’d be wrong.

I remember when supportive messages from friends became intermittent. I remember when invitations included a caveat: “We thought we might ask if you wanted to join us, but you’re probably not up to it.”

Click below to read the full article:


People don't want to hear about problems that can't be fixed with medicine or a new diet.


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